Monday, June 13, 2011

Swimming is hard. (no. 49)

Alright, for those of you who were concerned about when I'd finally get in the pool, worry no longer.
Sunday morning I went swimming.  I haven't yet received my special triathlon bikini, so I had to choose from my cute ones at home.  The decision was ultimately made on which suit would best complement my swim cap and pink goggles.  So I wore the (kind of tiny) black and white Calvin Kline suit and headed to the outdoor 50m pool that offers lap lanes between the hours of 11 and noon on weekends. 
I got there early because I was feeling like I needed to claim a lap lane before anyone else.  I didn't know how crowded it would be.  Anyway, hanging out for 15 minutes in front of the locked up pool, I was able to get someone to spray sunblock on my back for me, and overhear a conversation between the elderly ladies that were waiting for their morning pool time.  One lady was lamenting having to start pilling her cat for a UTI.  I can't help but offer my advice, having just learned how to pill my own cat this week.  I try to explain it using words, but end up having to mime holding the cat's head up and dropping the pill into her mouth by using my own head as an example (I can only imagine how that looked).  And when I suggest blowing on the cat's nose once the pill is in their mouth to get it to lick it's nose and swallow, she's SO grateful.  Can't stop thanking me.  I feel pleased I can help.
Then the pool opens up and I head in with the ladies, stopping briefly in the shower to soak my hair as per my stylists suggestion. "Hair is like a sponge, soak it with water before you get in the pool and it won't absorb as much chlorine and won't get as damaged".  Brilliant! 
Hair soaked, swim cap on, I plop myself into a lane.  I then put on my pink goggles that I haven't worn in years, and they are uncomfortable.  They are child-sized, literally, because apparently the other pair I had would leak (this is a faint and foggy memory).  It's like they are smashing my eyeballs, it's awful.  But I can't not wear them, you know?
Alright.  I set my watch up on the edge to time myself, and start the swim.  I only have to go back and forth 15 times (7.5 laps) to go the tri distance of 750m.  How hard could that be?  I have to keep alternating between my stronger breaststroke and the crawl.  The crawl is hard.  In my head I'm thinking, I have to do the crawl for the whole tri, so I should keep forcing myself to do this.  I had a few moments where I'd feel like I had been swimming forever, stop to rest, look at the other end of the pool, and it was like one of those trick camera shots where the distance is skewed.  You know, like in Vertigo or something?  Soooo far away.  But I made it 1000m for good measure, in just over 32 minutes.
Lessons learned:
1) A CK bikini is not made for lap swimming.  It is designed specifically for lounging on a beach, and perhaps for easing one's way over to a swim-up bar.  This was unfortunately discovered after swimming at least 200m with the top twisted over to one side, no longer doing it's job at all.  At least it's just me, the lifeguards, and a few older women.  Maybe no one noticed my inadvertent indiscretion at all...tee hee.
2) I need new goggles.  Preferably with tinted lenses to shield my eyes from the burning bright sun.  (I went and bought some.  Tried on at least ten pairs too to make sure my eyeballs would not be smashed).
3) I should probably swim every weekend I can before the tri.  It's harder than I remembered.  It was different than how I felt after biking or running.  My body was totally fatigued, but it didn't feel like I had fallen out of a moving car.  Well, until today.  Today I feel like that.
Last night, on a spur of the moment trip downtown to enjoy some cake, I saw someone had put a tiny purple party hat on the nose of this flying horse, and couldn't stop laughing. 


  1. Oh, Maude, I remember when my left one looked as good as that. It was in the Eisenhower era . .

    I'm a prize winning cat nurse. I particularly enjoy giving them the pink human baby liquid antibiotic. Man, a cat can splatter that sticky stuff a far piece!

  2. Whe I had to give my cat a pill, I rolled it into a little meat ball made out of his wet food. He would gulp it right down. Took a lot of soap to get that wet cat food smell off my fingers!

  3. The horse is looking like he misses that little party hat. Can you get swim caps made like party hats? I'm thinking, tyranasaurus rex coming to the pool! The competition would fade into the distance.

  4. @LM - It was all of the left one, and most of the right. Oops.
    We once had to give Bucket some liquid medicine that made her FOAM. She would get that foam everywhere! It was impressive.
    @Kirk - This pill is too foul for that. She'll eat up her new antibiotic for her UTI in wet food, but rejects the other pill served the same way.
    @OKatB - Maybe I can climb up onto that horse statue and borrow his little purple party hat? I know I'll want to wear one in celebration when I'm done with this tri!

  5. Oh, I'd forgotten the foaming action, like some household cleaner on steroids! Though I submit there is little more dramatic that overdosing a cat with tranquilizers for travel. My family once arrived here in Las Vegas having moved from SoCal. The cat had squalled for many miles, so they double dosed him. Now he appeared to be dying, legs gone to linguine, head lolling. "Put him in the closet until he bangs on the door to come out," said the vet. We did. It took 4 days of waiting. The cat lived another 10 years or so.

  6. Well, to make the foam even more dramatic was that the vet forgot to warn us that would happen. We watched, horrified, as this fountain of foam came up out of our sweet little cat's face.

  7. foaming cats,
    purple hats,
    swimming against the tide.
    stay in the lane,
    grab the mane,
    cake at the end of the ride.